We hopped in the jeep and headed downtown to attend the DC Pride Festival that took over about five city blocks.  The sun was out and with only an occasional cover of cloud we spent most of the day under the sun’s warming rays.  We both had hats on which made the heat less intense but there was so much to see and do (definitely much to see!! ) the heat was barely a distraction.

We spent a few hours walking and looking at the exhibits.  We listened to a performance from the Gay Men’s Chorus of DC and a few songs from BETTY.  Apparently they are famous, though I’d never heard of them before.  A few underwear models made their way through the crowd during the day, tanned and toned…a nice sight to see, indeed.  It was nice to walk around together, and publicly display some of our affection.  Not that we have been stopped in the past, nor are we overt when we are out in public, but the feeling of acceptance was something that was tangible yesterday and it made me feel good about who I was, who we are as a couple, and what we all desire as human beings.

Making our way back home, we settled in front of the TV with some pizza and wings to help us enjoy the Tony Awards that were on TV.  Beginning and ending the day with Broadway, with a gay pride celebration to fill our day, it certainly was a gay ol’ time!

Do I want to move to California and get married? Well, I already bought the bouquet but I’m sure that all of the best reception halls were booked five minutes after the announcement was made…you know how stylish the gays have to be! Seriously, it would be nice to have a simple ceremony, surrounded by friends and loved ones to witness an exchange of promises, vows, wishes, and commitments that, realistically, we have already been living. Until then, I think domestic partnership affords the same protections and opportunities until the time comes for a national recognition of same sex marriage and serves as an acceptable compromise, with commitment ceremonies and the same vow exchange.

It would be nice to see every state recognize the value and validity of same sex marriages and cease the discrimination that couples face each day. Until then, times like this are meant for rejoicing and renewed optimism that there is still the glimpse of hope for two people who love one another to share in the rewards and protections that marriage affords.

I have to admit that I enjoyed this form of communicating and often used it as a means of online journaling. Sometimes I would process challenging times at work or in my personal life through these blog entries. Sitting and writing, I could just go through what was challenging at the time and eventually come up with a resolution or sense of satisfaction. I have to admit that sometimes I even realized the error of my ways and used it as a means of self improvement.

There is a beginning and an end to everything and today is the end. Thank you for your faithfulness and support as I often blabbed endlessly…but for some strange reason you kept coming back! Thanks again! This is my last hoorah. I enjoyed it while it lasted.

APRIL FOOLS! You don’t think I could leave you hanging like that, do you? HA! I got you. It’s ok, wipe the tears and smile because I am not going anywhere!

Advocates of this law have used the economic drain that undocumented persons cause as they use city services and fill local schools with children, all provided for by a tax base they do not contribute to.  These advocates say that allowing the police to take action when coming in contact with undocumented persons will potentially curb the increased crime the county has seen since the population growth beginning in the early 2000’s.

Proponents of this law have provided much support to the Latino community and have brought to the forefront the fact that one particular ethnic group or even undocumented persons does not account for all abuses to any one county system.  Since the overwhelming majority of undocumented persons are Latinos, outreach workers fear that police officers, school administrators, and county executives will ethnically profile individuals unjustly and create a greater sense of fear and distrust within the community that already exists.

In Washington, DC, it is the standard operating procedure that officers are to not ask any individual about immigration status.  It is understood that immigration is to remain an issue appropriately dealt with at the Federal level and municipal governments should not enforce such issues, namely because we do not have the capability to access records and histories essential to verifying what an individual claims.  Even if an undocumented individual were to commit a heinous criminal act, the person would be held and dealt with by Immigration and Custom Enforcement (ICE) agents.  In the event an person cannot show immediate proof of documentation stating his or her legal ability to reside in the United States, will that person be held pending verification?  If so, knowing there is no such database available to local enforcement officers, would that person be detained?  These are important issues that need to be addressed and have not yet been resolved.  I fear the backlash of illegal detentions and database malfunctions that could essentially create severe constitutional issues with regard to individual stops, contacts, questioning, and detentions.

What is the reasoning behind this movement?  Day laborers.  The large Latino population that migrated to the area several years back brought many males to hang around home improvement stores like Home Depot.  Some saw it as increased labor possibilities while others saw it as a threat to the unionized trade workers who experienced job loss to these so-called untrained individuals.  Initial conversation was brought to possibly build a job center for the laborers so they would not have to brave the elements in parking lots around the county.  Others suggested employment agencies that could also assist with language skills and legal issues.  Successful as these centers were, the high visibility backfired and many vocal opponents started rallying behind the closing of these centers, which took place three months ago.

Knowing just a small piece of the emotional and logistical elements that go along with the immigration and naturalization process, and the fact that permanent residency is not an automatic or assured thing, I can understand the hesitancy behind wanting to announce your presence in the country.  However, does that make it right?  Of course not.  Nor is it right for a local law enforcement officer to check the immigration status of an individual he is contacting in reference to being a victim of a crime.  What relation does immigration status have to being a complainant?  And if that is the case, why even call the police if an undocumented individual becomes a victim of a crime.  I see the negative spiral already beginning to form.  How will this end or become resolved?

Last evening, a former student named K knocked on the front door of the house late in the evening, just as I was about to go to bed.  Almost twenty years old now, K still lives a few blocks away with his parents and heard I had moved into town with my partner (word certainly travels fast in Cheverly!) and he wanted to say hello and meet T.  He was walking his dog and shivering, although the temperature had not really dropped yet.  I told him that T was not home but invited him in anyway to have a seat.  K sat down and began to share with me how his parents have been telling him that they hate him and he wants to move away, “far away to Philadelphia” to live on his own.  K told me that he is gay and he told his parents almost four years ago, and that he felt I was the only person he knew who could understand what he was going through.

In middle school, K was a very gifted student who had few friends.  He was often picked on and called “gay” because of how others perceived his mannerisms.  Shorter than most in his class, I was often called in to mediate between the students and, as disciplinarian, send a strong message of zero tolerance for hate-speech, even at such a young age.  Fast forward many years and K now towers over me in height (as most people do!) and looks nothing like he did when he was in sixth grade, which is a good thing, I suppose.  In just a few short years of being ‘out,’ K has been in a number of abusive relationships and is quite confused about how to find someone who will treat him “right,” to use his word.

In a fashion unlike gogolody, I listened for several hours to K as he spoke with interruptions of tears and nervous laughter.  I spoke little because I got an immediate sense that I may be the first one to hear all K had to say and it was important for him to be free enough to share what he wanted.  Unloading all of this emotional baggage was a release for K and I could see the change of facial expression from when he first began.  Through his sharing, the tears became less frequent and the nervous laughter became a relaxed laugh. 

By the end of our time together, he thanked me for everything.  And then he clarified what he meant by everything – not only being there to listen to him last night but also for being there for him when he was in 6th grade and being picked on.  He told me that ever since the first incident when I stepped in to assist him and try to deal with him being taunted, he knew I was different than the other teachers.  He said that he never forgot those times and when he was first coming out to his parents who, to this day, do not accept him and made him go to counseling to change, he thought back to those moments in middle school and the words of encouragement I shared with him, and that is what got him through the more recent moments.

As K walked out the door and a few blocks away to his parent’s house, I closed the door and stood in place for a few moments to reflect on what actually just happened.  Ironically, I had posted earlier an entry about National Coming Out Day and the struggles that gay teens still face despite the advances that have been made in the last few decades.  K is just one local example of the daily struggle teens make with their family, friends, and society to be happy with who they are. 

Last night was a lesson for me in humility.

There has been much social commentary regarding the visit of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and the presentations he made to both Columbia University and the United Nations.  Some are questioning the invite by the president of Columbia, given the vocal opposition he holds to the United States’ presence in Iraq and divisive comments he has made regarding his challenge to the occurrence of the Jewish Holocaust. 

Prior to his arrival, he requested to visit the site of the former World Trade Center, commonly referred to as “Ground Zero,” which was immediately denied by the New York City Police Department.  The U.S. government has made reference to Iran’s support of resistive forces in Iraq and, most recently, accused Iran of supplying weapons and supplies to Al Quaida forces.  Both of these accusations, obviously, are denied by Ahmadinejad.

Speaking at Columbia University, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad made a number of statements (some subtle, others not so) directed at the United States:

They even violate individual and social freedoms in their own nations under that pretext. They do not respect the privacy of their own people. They tap telephone calls and try to control their people. They create an insecure psychological atmosphere in order to justify their warmongering acts in different parts of the world.

As another example, by using precise scientific methods and planning, they begin their onslaught on the domestic cultures of nations, the cultures which are the result of thousands of years of interaction, creativity and artistic activities.

They try to eliminate these cultures in order to separate the people from their identity and cut their bonds with their own history and values. They prepare the ground for stripping people from their spiritual and material wealth by instilling in them feelings of intimidation, desire for imitation and (inaudible) submission to oppressive powers and disability.

Making nuclear, chemical and biological bombs and weapons of mass destruction is yet another result of the misuse of science and research by the big powers.

These comments at Columbia are almost identical to the ones made to the United Nations, except in that forum he specifically called the United States to task on these actions he deems ungodly.  He continued in his comments to reference Hiroshima and Nagasaki as catastrophes resulting from scientific misuse by “oppressors.”

Of course his presence at both venues was met with protests.  There was outcry against Columbia University for the invite, some seeing it as an insult to the people of the United States given Iran’s purported support of the Iraqi rebel forces.  Ironically, the same right that is afforded the protesters to speak out against Ahmadinejad is the same right that enables him to make his comments.  As a superpower known as the United States, we are founded on principles like freedom of expression – that same freedom that allows the opposition to hold a voice just as strong as all others.  President Ahmadinejad’s presence and televised commentaries is a reminder that, although he may be the leader of one spoke on the axis of evil, and maybe even the ‘presence of evil incarnate’, as one commentary noted, he is afforded the same rights and opportunities to display his views. 

What we do with that information and how we respond is our personal decision.  I, personally, have found a great amount of information in both of his speeches.  Looking at their printed texts on my desk, it is quite obvious that, although he claims to be a humble academic in simple clothing, his responses are anything but simple.  Not answering any question directly, President Ahmadinejad uses circular logic in an attempt to confuse his audience and redirect their attention to his issues and not the ones asking to be addressed.  Of course, he had different audiences.

The president of Columbia held in his opening remarks and introduction: “today I feel all the weight of the modern civilized world yearning to express the revulsion at what you stand for.“  And so it was…questions were asked and none were fully answered.  Challenge was made to most of his positions regarding the treatment and rights of women in Iran; journalistic oppression and censorship; true intention for uranium and nuclear capabilities;  all challenges were met with denial of these claims, commenting on how this “propaganda” is used to turn minds against the Iranian people.

If I can listen to him and read his comments and see the transparency of his statements, then it is clear to me that he needs to keep talking.  The more he talks, the more he reveals his true intentions, and the more we are able to see how dangerous and hateful this man is.

Writing a letter, this letter in particular, has a significance that only two other people can share – the one receiving it and another who had to recently write the same message. I have yet to give mine, but the time is coming soon – sooner than I originally planned. Writing a letter is not easy if it is to be done with sincerity, clarity, and genuine concern for the recipient. Words must carefully be chosen to create the sentences that should flow into the paragraphs that compose your message. Sure, one could haphazardly scribble a few thoughts that could essentially communicate the same message. However, delicately exposing the deepest parts of who you are as an author is the challenge because there is always the risk of rejection of your message by the reader. Why would anyone want to risk rejection? That is something I once lived by, holding back pieces of myself from others so as not to run the risk of getting hurt. For me, it was love that shined the light on that and it was love that directed me through the hard times of allowing myself to be loved, and risk being loved.

For a letter, this letter, it is love that is the message – a love shared by two people who have grown together and have found one another. A love that is carried across great distances at times, and helps to overcome the challenges that arise. A love that has brought the two to become one in a desire to be united and share a life in common. A love that exists without strings or expectations other than the promise to be true to one another. A love that is often unaccepted and unrecognized in cultures, religions, governments, friendships and families. A love that, despite the oppositions often faced, is lived out in the open and free from the fear of expressing how we feel about one another. Yet, with a letter it seems so easy to write, why is it difficult to deliver.