Illness has been going around school since the first day, mostly colds and sniffles, but now more serious illnesses like strep throat and high fevers shared by both student and staff. I left school Wednesday evening with a sore throat and tried to attribute it to all of the talking I did that day – well, no such luck. This morning I tried to just relax but yard work was needed to be done after all of the rain we had over the last week that I just could not stay in bed all day as I would have liked. Rather, as LC was kind enough to take the jeep and do grocery shopping for our weekly meals, I was pushing the lawn mower and pulling up tiny weeds between the beautiful flowers he and I planted a while back. Next week we are going mum crazy and planting very colorful mum in the front and sides of the house. I most definitely will take photos of that!

But, right now, I cannot sleep with a stuffy nose and now sit in the office with a glass of pomegranate juice next to me and a keyboard in front. Sunday will be my day of rest…

I wonder why some people become teachers.  When I visit classrooms and even when I enter other schools, it is crystal clear to those of us in administration that some teachers should not be where they are.  Some teachers complain when asked to do things that are part of their job description and throw a tantrum, rolling eyes and making faces, if work is required to be done over the weekend.  The interesting observation that I have made on a number of occasions is that the teachers who respond in the ways I have described are the first to send a student to the office for doing the exact same thing to them.  Somehow it is ok for them to behave that way because they are adults?  I think not.

Expectations are set high for a reason.  But asking for simple documentation each week is sometimes a fight.  This is not new, all principals deal with this.  Even in my New York schools we had teachers who had difficulty turning in things like lesson plans and student data reports, and there were consequnces for that.  There are soon to be consequences now.  It is just part of the job, nothing personal.

But it brings me back to my original question – why enter the profession that is not, nor has ever been, a Monday through Friday job.  We work at night, early in the morning, on the weekends, over the holiday breaks – its about being good in the craft of teaching.  Teaching is more than being effective in the classroom, it is also about maintaining appropriate documentation, keeping deadlines like lesson plan submissions and report card completion.  It’s about the reflective nature of thinking back over the day’s events and learning how to be even better the next day.  This is not the place (my school and the field of education) for someone who cringes or makes a face when I ask for a basic level of accountability.

Next year at my school will be exciting.  We are expanding into another building and I am going to set up my desired “early learning center” where we will perfect our craft of early childhood education.  I am excited about the staff I am going to bring in to do this, totally transforming what shell of a program we currently have.  The new hires are sharp and positive – and have a desire to give 110%.  In seeing the staff needs projected for next year and having already done some interviews to fill some of those positions, I can’t help but look to next school year with great enthusiasm and anticipation.  We will take a huge leap from good to great at the start of the new year and I’ll be able to put behind me the face-makers and the attitude-having individuals who have wrongfully chosen a profession that requires passion and intentionality.

Some days as a principal I feel like a middle school teacher all over again with the nonsense and attitude that is exhibited.  I feel like wearing a t-shirt around school, one side reading “grow up and get over it” while the other side reads “stop acting like you’re the only one who has lots of work to do!”  But that would be wrong, right?  Right.

Instead, I am a cheerleader, most of the time.  Rallying the troops to maintain focus on the students and keep in mind at all times that all things are done for the students.  That is our mission, that is our goal and we will accomplish it!

The main theme that hit me the most and has stuck with me through the night is how far one would go for love and wait for the one they feel destined to be with.  Not easy to do as things tend to pop up in the way and foil the plans that once seemed so ideal.  It struck a familiar chord within me and brought me to think about love, about love gained, lost, and the hopes of regaining what felt so right.  What felt like destiny.

Seeing the one you love, the one you have decided to wait for, moving in a direction that seems farther and farther from your grasp, is devistating.  What if one person’s perceived destiny is not even in the scope of another person’s desire?  What if one person chooses to act on what he feels is his destiny and waits for the other who may or may not ever return that same feeling.

Profound, challenging, and disturbing.  These are the feelings felt as I watched the movie and tried to separate my emotions from those surfacing as the story unfolded.  It was intense, to say the least.

I would venture to say that I am a hopeless romantic, but some would say simply hopeless.  Sometimes to a fault, but I often think with my heart and stick to those decisions.

The movie’s main character thought with his heart, was sure in what he felt and “knew” and despite the many trials and tribulations he faced, stayed true to his heart and it worked for him.

Some guys have all the luck.

What does that mean?  Well, a few things.  First, pain.  And lots of it.  Second, about three to four months of light activity with that leg.  I cannot run or even jog, but I do have to bike and use an elliptical machine to keep my legs moving and prevent it from locking.  Third, surgery…possibly.  I will be returning to see him in three weeks for an MRI of the knee to determine the healing (if any) of the fracture.  If no significant healing can be noticed, he will have to insert two screws into the knee to close the fracture.  Amazingly, after that surgery I will be able to resume running almost immediately after recovery.

That is the last alternative although that is always an option at this point – an option he suggests we wait to make the call on after the next visit.

So, to the gym I go and I will have to sadly walk past the treadmills and focus more on weights and biking.  I will miss the cardio and burn I feel after running for a good hour, hour and a half.  That will hopefully come soon.  I wait in great anticipation for that day.  At least the winter months will be spent indoors working out and hopefully, when I can resume running, Spring will have sprung and the outdoors will be more suitable for running.

So, that’s the scoop.

I have been in pain.  As much as I’ve tried to mask it, the pain has gotten too much for me to bear.  No, not talking about the pain I had previously written about – that still lingers time and again.  I am talking about my left knee.

When I returned from Orlando after having run the Goofy Challenge of 39.3 miles, I felt fine.  Of course, after running that much, the term ‘fine’ is relative for me.  I ached, but it hurt.  And then all pain went away util I was walking down the steps in school one afternoon and then I felt it – my left knee, the rush of pain.  The pain is behind my knee cap to the lower part of my knee.  My doctor has a few ideas of what it could be so I am seeing an orthopedic specialist tomorrow at 2pm.  It hurts so much I am walking with a limp every time I step.  It hurts the most walking down steps.  It hirts when I take more than 10 steps.  It hurts going up steps – I finally decided, after much prompting from my secretaries, to go see a doctor.

I am stubborn like that.  And in so many other ways, as well!

I am hoping for a quick fix – something that will get me back in the gym and doing more than swimming.  I like to swim, but love running and biking, two things I am restricted from doing at this time.

Tomorrow I will know more, but I am concerned.  Pain is never a good thing, and knees are important.  I need my knees.  I need my mobility back, free from pain and discomfort.  Can this be a sign of old age?  Certainly not!  How can it be, I am only 26…

Tonight, after working for most of the day in the condo replacing electical outlets and hanging shelves, I relaxed in front of the tv with a nice, healthy meal from Five Guys Burgers.  The clock is approaching 9PM and for the last two weeks I have been staying up and taking advantage of the fact that the next morning I could sleep in…but not tonight.  Tonight I must get back to my work routine.  Vacation…it was fun while it lasted.

This is the first Thanksgiving I can remember where there is no remnant of the day’s events…because there were no events.  I woke up, watched some television, sent a few text messages, made a few phone calls, and got back in bed.  Woo Hoo!

Today was different, though.  I trotted out to Whole Foods for some groceries and met a friend for lunch.  I was unable to eat, though.  I had a nice bowl of soup in front of me but I could not eat!  It was killing me because I wanted to eat but my body just went in a different direction.  I have lost a total of 9 pounds over the last two weeks which is great on one level, but presents a whole new set of challenges on another.  Not eating is not the most preferable method of weight loss, and combine that with little sleep and a persistent series of chills, fever, and body aches, you have the most unpleasant day!

Now most of that is gone and I have a cough that is dry and seems neverending.  Some days I sleep 12-hours, and other days I sleep less than 2.  Some of that was related to me just not feeling well.  I am hoping to regain some of that sleeping time soon.

Anyway, there is always tomorrow.  And a friend of mine sent me this quote from Mark Twain that I enjoyed when I first saw it…

“Dance like nobody’s watching; love like you’ve never been hurt. Sing like nobody’s listening; live like it’s heaven on earth.”

That will be the goal for tomorrow and each day after.

Instead of the large party that was being planned, the table already set and groceries already bought and prepped, this year will be a quiet celebration alone at home.  I am OK with that, although everyone is trying to pull me out to their homes to celebrate.  I appreciate all of the thoughts and expressions of concern that people have shared with me over the past two weeks.

I am still not feeling well.  With RAM heading to the Philippines in a few days I would not want to subject their young child to my coughing and germs, and I just got word that he is already sick so its best they stay closer to home to get well enough for the trip.  HAM are heading to Germany, so J and N are going to have a small celebration at their home.  JL is heading to their home too, so what was to be a party of 12 is now down to a party of 1 here with me.  Again, I am OK with that.

T opted for a trip to NYC, at least that is what I hear.  So the plane ticket purchased months ago for this weekend will just have to get added to things still needed to be settled.  The list gets longer!  Oh, the drama.

Me, I am what was the living room and is now set up with a long table from the school cafeteria and chairs I borrowed for today.  What a mistake that was, assuming that things would go as discussed, planned, and agreed upon.  Silly me!  Later today I will deconstruct the place settings, put the table and chairs back in the jeep, and make an evening trip to school tonight to drop them off.

Is this how the Christmas Season is ushered in?  At least this year it is…but I have a good feeling about this Holiday Season.  Positive things are approaching over the horizon and I like what I see so far…more to come soon so I will remain somewhat cryptic for now!

Happy Thanksgiving!

After that, I changed my clothes and met a new friend for lunch at a great place called The Commissary which took over a restaurant spot on P Street, across from the Whole Foods Market.  Since we are both fans of breakfast food he suggested that place and it was fantastic!  The price was right ($6.00 for a large serving of pancakes with bacon!!) and the enviornment is very casual…and busy!  We had to wait for a good 20-minutes which was well worth it!  Well, we talked…and talked….and talked…it was so nice to sit and talk with someone who didn’t sit passively, someone who was engaged and actually asking questions!  I never realized how much I value not having to always carry a conversation and how tiring is really is.  It was refreshing to sit and listen to someone else’s story and laugh along with him.

Well, almost four hours later I realized I needed to go and meet RAM at HAM’s new apartment in Bethesda.  Just a quick ten-minute drive from where I was, HAM’s place is convenienetly located within walking distance to lots of shops and restaurants, but you still need a car to get anywhere of distance.  I got there first and recognized the layout of their new place is almost like the old one but it felt so much more open and actually larger even though the square footage increase exists only in the bedroom closet area…sweet!

We gathered for a long evening of dinner, drinks, more food, and then dessert.  We did lots of laughing and lots of talking, and I got some great support and encouragement from them…my friends I would have otherwise never met or crossed paths with.  They have been a tremendous support system for me. Awwww…

But I was still not feeling well.  I have not been feeling well for over a week now, since before my trip last weekend to Boston.  I was getting tired and sweaty and needed to go home and rest.  I took some medicine I had in the jeep and drove home slowly as I got more and more nauseous.  When I got home I went right to bed and woke up this morning still not feeling well.  Enough already!

I am supposed to meet someone for lunch today at the National Portrait Gallery and I am hoping to rest up for this meeting so I won’t be too much of a pain and not eat much…how sad is that, going out for lunch and not being able to eat….almost as bad as going out to dinner and not being able to eat when there is good food in front of you.  I just might go to the doctor if I don’t feel any different by the end of this week.

Until then, there is Thanksgiving to plan – something that is still unclear from my perspective.  Cancel?  Do not cancel?  I am still awaiting word from T that I asked him to think about – although I hear through the grapevine that a decision was already made last week but I haven’t heard anything as of yet.  I don’t know what to do…yet another day for the memory books, I suppose.  It keeps getting better and better!

But I am patient.  Some say stupid, some say time wasted, but I say patient…maybe synonyms in this scenario?  Don’t know, can’t predict the future, but time will tell.

Until then, if you are in need of a home in Maryland, the house will be placed on the market after January 1, 2009.  The funny thing about that is when I told him I was going to put the house on the market he told me not to make a ‘rushed decision’ which was what he had just done with the relationship…easier to give that advice than take it, huh.  Soon after, profiles are up and I feel as if I have become a notch on the bed frame of hook-ups.

But, yet, I still wait.  There clearly needs to be an explanation for this.  Until then, I live in hope…and in bed!  I have a marathon and a half to run soon and I need the time out of bed and on the road…argh!