Lazy Sunday.  I am spending it here in Cambridge and Boston, alone on the streets enjoying the partial sun and chilly breezes.  This is sooo the setting right now for a Lifetime made-for-tv-movie given how I feel, what I am going through, the strong conviction I STILL have, and the weather.  I wonder if Matt Damon is still interested in playing the lead role in the movie they are going to make about me and my life.  I know we have such striking similarities that it seems only natural.

This morning I treated myself to a nice breakfast and made some phone calls to a few friends in DC and New York.  Honestly, this morning was the first time I had laughed…I mean, genuinely laughed.  It felt good.  I feel good.  Still not sleeping the way I would like, at least I am regaining my appetite.

As far as my current situation is concerned, I still do have hope.  I still do see the possibility, if only the slightest, that things can still work.  There are other options and I will still try to move in that direction.  Yes, that sounds like not letting go, but I am not at that point yet.  I am not ready or willing to let go.

What will the future bring?  I have no clue.  I thought I knew, but that is apparently not the case, right?  Still dumbfounded and confused, I move forward in my quest, like King Arthur in Monty Python’s Search for the Holy Grail, which we last saw late at night in Silver Spring during a film festival – brilliant!

Here is the exchange in one of my favorite scenes where Arthur comes along the path of some dirt farmers.  HaHaHa, just writing ‘dirt farmers’ makes me giggle.

King Arthur: Old woman.
Dennis: Man.
King Arthur: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?
Dennis: I’m 37.
King Arthur: What?
Dennis: I’m 37. I’m not old.
King Arthur: Well I can’t just call you “man”.
Dennis: Well you could say “Dennis”.
King Arthur: I didn’t know you were called Dennis.
Dennis: Well you didn’t bother to find out did you?
King Arthur: I did say sorry about the “old woman”, but from behind you looked…
Dennis: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior.
King Arthur: Well I am king.
Dennis: Oh, king eh? Very nice. And how’d you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society?

King Arthur: I am your king.
Woman: Well I didn’t vote for you.
King Arthur: You don’t vote for kings.
Woman: Well how’d you become king then?
[Angelic music plays... ]
King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.
Dennis: [interrupting] Listen, strange women lyin’ in ponds distributin’ swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Dennis: Oh, but you can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.

Dennis: Oh but if I went ’round sayin’ I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away.

Dennis: Come and see the violence inherent in the system. Help! Help! I’m being repressed!
King Arthur: Bloody peasant!
Dennis: Oh, what a giveaway! Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That’s what I’m on about! Did you see him repressing me? You saw him, Didn’t you?