Television judge shows. I have grown to enjoy them. From my extensive courtroom experience having testified innumerable times on cases involving arrests I made, I can tell you that reality is nothing like the informality that exists on TV. It is truly not that entertaining and often there is much less drama and much more formality in real life court rooms. Each afternoon when I come home from work, I tend to go for my afternoon run and then after a brief shower, turn on the TV and watch some TV judge shows while I prepare dinner or do some light reading. Normally I will have the television just playing in the background as I read and occasionally look up when I hear something that sounded funny or interesting. When I was growing up, adults around me often used the phrase “listening with half an ear” to describe what I do with these television shows.

Strange phrase considering most people have two ears and thus, by listening with half an ear, I would still be utilizing most of my hearing capability. Why not use the phrase “listening with a quarter of your hearing capability” Oh, ok…that’s why. Anywho, maybe that is the idea behind the phrase, not entirely listening exaggerated to something that can be referenced visually by recalling the image of “half an ear.” Not a pleasant image, nor is it accurate from the perspective of auditory function.

What about talking? I know it is frustrating when you are talking with someone and when you ask a question their first response is “what?” and then you have to repeat what you just stated – clearly an indication that they weren’t listening. Frustrating. Very frustrating. It happens to me all the time, mostly from my students and some of my faculty members, and others.

At that point, what’s the point of even talking? Maybe I should talk with half a tongue that, coupled by their listening with half an ear, we will both exert a minimal amount energy and walk away. Nah, that won’t be productive. Reading with half an eye wouldn’t work or walking with half a foot neither because you are still exerting seventy five percent of that bodily function which is pretty good given people with disabilities can fully function with less. What about slapping with half a hand?

OK, I’ll stop.