A rainy, dreary morning is what I woke up to.  A massive headache is what I woke up with.  Sitting here at home drinking water and taking some aspirin are the remedies I hope will be effective, but its probably just a stress headache.  I am trying to stay on top of everything that is going on right now and making sense of it is sometimes a challenge.  As you know, I am resigning from the police department which was effective last week.  Prior to last week I was supposed to be notified by human resources to do what is called a “clearance sheet” which is how I would return all of my issued equipment and formally separate from the department.  I have not done so as of today, but I did receive a letter over the weekend notifying me that my health benefits with the police department were terminated which is no problem for me because I have better health coverage at the new job.  However, I still have my issued equipment to include my weapon.  I made a phone call this morning to the supervisor at human resources to inquire about how this letter preceded my clearance (which it shouldn’t) and that started a bit of trouble.

To make a long story short, the department is scrambling as I type this to find a supervisor to come to the house and take possession of my weapon and police identification.  Tomorrow I will take the rest of my issued equipment to the appropriate locations for return and formally separate from the department.  It is official.  It was official last month, but somehow today it hit me.

I have mixed emotions about this separation.  I was in my fifth year as a police officer and I have experienced many things during that time.  I have learned valuable lessons and met some supervisors who demonstrated how to lead and some who showed how not to lead.  As I sit here at the kitchen counter when I should be walking the halls at school, I can’t help but realize that the cliché of a ‘new chapter’ in my life is underway.  Maybe being in possession of my equipment and weapon, despite having not worn or carried it in over a month, was one way for me to still have a hold of both worlds, law enforcement and education.  Looking out of the window I see the unmarked police car stop in front of our house.  My place and part in one of these worlds is about to go away, and its about to happen now.